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IELTS Writing Task 2 Sample Answer
 concerned OR concerning themselves
 attract [you already used ‘did’ to show past tense]
 young people’s [more specific]
 those [when referring to things in the past]
 maybe did not [possibility in the past]
 have become [over a period of time]
 this part is NOT clear or easy to understand for the reader.
 focusing on [when focus is a verb we normally say: focus on something/someone]
 The first reason
 against [commit abuse against something/someone]
 fellow humans
 this part is NOT clear or easy to understand for the reader
 this is NOT clear or coherent for the reader.
 this is an awkward choice of words, better to say: showing their solidarity and indignation
 of being concerned
 involved [adjective]
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