IELTS Writing Describing Data
Academic Writing Task 1 Question & Answer
The graph below shows the number of first year international students studying in UK universities between 2004 and 2014.Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant.
Write at least 150 words.
IELTS Writing Task 1 Sample Answer
The graph illustrates the number of first year international students from various countries and regions studying at UK universities over a 10 year period, from 2004 to 2014.
It can be clearly seen that students from non-EU countries represented the largest proportion of international students enrolled in first year university courses, while students from the USA and Nigeria accounted for the smallest proportion.
In terms of changes over the period in question, overall the total number of international students grew; the number of Chinese students doubled from 30,000 to 60,000, and the overall number of non-EU students grew by 50%, from 60,000 to 90,000.
However, notably, two groups experienced zero net growth over the ten-year period; the number of students from the USA remained unchanged throughout the entire period, and although the number of Indian students was more than double the original during 2008 – 2011, by the end of 2014 it had fallen to its original level back in 2004.
IELTS Writing Analysis
Feedback on the given Task 1 sample answer based on the IELTS writing test grading criteria.
Task Achievement (Score: 6/9)
- The response adequately addresses the task, providing an overview of the changes in the number of first-year international students at UK universities over a 10-year period.
- However, the description of the data is somewhat superficial. While it mentions the growth and stagnation of certain student groups, it lacks specific details and comparisons needed to fully fulfill the task requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion (Score: 6/9)
- There is some coherence in the report as it progresses logically from introducing the topic to describing changes over time.
- However, the organization could be improved for better clarity and coherence. Providing clearer transitions between the different points and groups of students would enhance coherence.
Lexical Resource (Score: 6/9)
- The vocabulary used is generally appropriate for the task, with terms such as "proportion," "enrolled," and "notably" used effectively.
- Nonetheless, there is room for improvement in the variety and accuracy of vocabulary. Using a wider range of synonyms and more precise terminology would enhance the lexical resource.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy (Score: 6/9)
- The sentences are mostly grammatically correct, though there are occasional errors in sentence structure and tense usage.
- Additionally, there is a lack of variety in sentence structures, with many sentences beginning similarly. Incorporating more complex sentence structures and varied grammatical forms would improve the score in this criterion.
Overall Suggestions for Improvement
- Provide more specific details and comparisons within the data, such as exact figures and percentage changes for each group of students over the 10-year period.
- Enhance coherence by organizing the information more clearly, with distinct paragraphs for each major point and improved transitions between them.
- Expand the range and accuracy of vocabulary used, incorporating synonyms and more precise terminology where appropriate. Increase the variety of sentence structures and ensure grammatical accuracy throughout the response.
By addressing these areas for improvement, the candidate can enhance the overall quality and effectiveness of their Task 1 report in line with the IELTS writing test grading criteria.
Improvements
Specificity in Data Description
- Original: "It can be clearly seen that students from non-EU countries represented the largest proportion..."
- Improved: "The graph reveals that students from non-EU countries, comprising mainly Asian and African nations, constituted the predominant segment..."
Explanation: The improved version adds specificity by mentioning the regions represented by non-EU countries, providing a clearer picture for the reader.
Clarity in Time Frame Mention
- Original: "...during 2008 – 2011..."
- Improved: "...between 2008 and 2011..."
Explanation: The improved version uses "between" instead of "during" for a clearer indication of the time frame, ensuring better comprehension for the reader.
Enhanced Vocabulary
- Original: "...two groups experienced zero net growth over the ten-year period..."
- Improved: "...two cohorts exhibited stagnation over the decade-long span..."
Explanation: The improved version employs more sophisticated vocabulary ("cohorts" instead of "groups," "stagnation" instead of "zero net growth"), enhancing lexical resource.
Improved Sentence Structure
- Original: "In terms of changes over the period in question, overall the total number of international students grew..."
- Improved: "Regarding the changes observed during the specified timeframe, there was a discernible increase in the overall count of international students..."
Explanation: The improved version employs a more varied sentence structure and introduces the phrase "specified timeframe" for clarity and precision.
The improved version enhances clarity, specificity, and sophistication, thereby improving the overall quality of the Task 1 report.